October 30, 2016 - From Mom

First of all... let me just say I had a pretty great costume for Trunk or Treat this year.  Do you get it?:)  You may not know but Hillary is famous for her "pant suits" so I gave her a prison issued pant suit. LOL.  And speaking of all this, I did vote this week.  Early voting.  It was very tough to do and I think I threw up in my mouth a little.  But I'm just being prayerful that Heavenly Father watches over our country.  By the way, I sat with Jason Steed (our ward Democrat) for dinner at the trunk or treat so we had a good laugh about my costume.  At least he was a good sport.

This week has been a little bit tough but I would say it ended well.  Abby is still struggling with depression.  We changed her medication and are looking for a new counselor.  I think the change of medication seems to be working a little.  She has been having a hard time focusing on her school work and anything really.  She spends so much energy trying to stay positive that it is really draining for her to do much else.  She has good days but the bad days are pretty hard.  But I think by Sunday night, I started noticing some improvement.  We will see.  It is something I never expected and is so difficult to watch her struggle.  You think when someone suffers from depression, you can get them help and all will be better.  But it really doesn't work like that.  Sometimes I guess you need to keep trying things and see what works.  It's a lot of trial and error.  She hides it pretty well so most people don't know anything about it.  But with me she lets her guard down sometimes and it makes me so sad to know how she feels.  Please don't worry... we are doing all we can to take care of her.  Just please keep her in your prayers.  And don't let her know I've told you this.  She is embarrassed by it and DOES NOT want to talk about it.  

We are still having hot weather! UGH!  Tomorrow is November and it is actually supposed to be finally cooling down.  I can't wait for some fall weather.  My very favorite time of year!  It looks like you are coming out of your rainy season.  When I look at my weather app for Guatemala City, usually every day shows rain! But now I'm seeing some cloudy days and actually some sunny days!  Yay!  Is it getting better?

Tomorrow you have been gone 3 months!  How are you feeling?  I remember it was about at the 4 month mark the last time you were out that you seemed to be dealing with homesickness better.  Are you getting there?  I pray everyday that you will feel our love but that it won't make you homesick.  I just want you to feel the love of our family and our savior and that it gives you comfort and support.  I hope you are having success but that you don't get discouraged when you feel like the work is going slower than you hoped.  Keep working.  Keep the faith.  Keep being obedient.  The blessings have come, and more will come.

I was studying Alma 58 this week and I thought of a theme for it that I wanted to pass on to you.  The message is:  "Be brave and trust a while longer and the benefits will be worth it."  Sometimes things we desire, even righteous desires, take much longer than we want.  In this chapter, Helaman and his army is greatly out numbered and he is trying to hide out and wait for back up and provisions before he goes into battle.  All the while they are watching the Lamanites get more provisions, get stronger, and plan their strategy to defeat Helaman.  After months of waiting and almost dying of hunger, provisions did arrive with 2000 more men (which was a drop in the bucket because they were so outnumbered).  Here is what he says starting in verse 9:

9 And now the cause of these our embarrassments, or the cause why they did not send more strength unto us, we knew not; therefore we were grieved and also filled with fear, lest by any means the judgments of God should come upon our land, to our overthrow and utter destruction.

 10 Therefore we did pour out our souls in prayer to God, that he would strengthen us and deliver us out of the hands of our enemies, yea, and also give us strength that we might retain our cities, and our lands, and our possessions, for the support of our people.

 11 Yea, and it came to pass that the Lord our God did visit us with assurances that he would deliver us; yea, insomuch that he did speak peace to our souls, and did grant unto us great faith, and did cause us that we should hope for our deliverance in him.

They were "grieved and filled with fear" but when they poured out their souls in prayer they received: 1. assurances that they would be delivered, 2. peace to their souls 3. great faith and 4. hope.  They did not defeat their enemy immediately as they would want to.  But while they waited on that promise, they were blessed greatly.  President Eyring said this, "Delayed blessings will build your faith in God to work, and wait, for him. The scriptures aren’t demeaning when they command, “Wait upon the Lord.” That means both service and patience. And that will build your faith. It may help you to watch both for the chance to smile and the blessings around you on the way.”

I hope that message gives you encouragement the way it did for me.  I'm so proud of you, my hero!  You know that I am amazed at your character, hard work, faith and obedience.  You are such an example to our family.  I'm so grateful for all you are doing and so happy for how it will shape you into the man our Heavenly Father designed you, His son, to be.  

Let me also say, last week I gave you some things to think about as you consider when to return home.  I want to reiterate that these are only things to consider but I still hope you will take the matter to the Lord and receive your own answer.  Don't assume you know what he wants you to do.  Come up with your own answer and then pray to ask if it is right.  And again, I don't think  you need to stress about it now.  You have plenty of time to think about it.

I love you so much Sam!  You are so missed here at home but we feel your faith here.  It makes us all stronger and better.  I hope you are having a wonderful week!  Tell me everything!  Do they celebrate any kind of halloween there?  

Please be safe.  Follow the promptings of the spirit and know how much I love you!  I'm always with you my son!  

Infinity + infinity

mom

October 24, 2016 - From Sam

Some up and downs this week. The best part was that Estuardo was baptised on Friday and it went great. Hes seriously converted to the gospel and is already planning to serve a mission. Incredible!

The rough part was it seemed these last few days all of our appointments were falling through and every door we knocked seemed to shut fairly quickly. One lady in particular saw us and started screaming ¨Oh no ones home! No ones home!¨ Wagging her finger in my face and shared a little bit of spit on my nose lol. She opened the door and as she opened the door holy crap I think I counted literally 27 cats in her house. They all attempted to leave as soon as she opened the door. She kicked em all back in and shut the door behind her as she left to go buy bread from another lady in the street. But the door was left cracked. 

It started to open and I noticed and saw all the cats about to get out so I shoved the cats back in the house and tried to shut the door. She turned around and saw me with my foot in the door and hand on the handle and assumed I was trying to enter into her house uninvited...Oh boy. What a scene. This lady just screamed and screamed and cussed and cussed at me. 

I attempted to explain that I was trying to help her and not let her cats out but she literally turned her back to me and started talking to some other lady in the neighborhood and pretended not to hear me. After realizing this chick doesnt care just wants to cause a scene against the Mormons I reached in my pocket and said, ¨Can I atleast offer you a small card with a picture of Jesus Christ?¨ I will fully admit that although it may not have appeared to be, it was my snarky sarcastic way of messing with her after causing that scene ;) lol

While I wanted to say oh sooooooooooo many things to that ¨playa¨ (Those who know a little bit of spanish will get that joke lol) I refrained. I think toward the end she did realize that I was trying to help her because of the manner I was speaking to her but her pride just wouldnt let her admit it. 

I immediately thought of the scripture, 

¨And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.¨ Matthew 10:14

I know the Lord is with us. I feel His presence every day. I know this is His work. When something like that happens or a door is slammed in our face I always think of Jesus on the cross saying, ¨Forgive them Father for they know not what they do.¨ 

There is nothing one can do except press forward. My companion and I wanted to just go home after that because we were both fairly sad and upset, but we kept knocking doors until finally the last one of the night opened up. It was a non member with a cousin in the mission who was super happy to see us. We shared the Restoration with him and it was incredibly spiritual. He is now progressing and a solid investigator. I know that would not have happened had we decided to give up and go home. 

I love the Lord and I love HIs work. Im grateful for the miracles I see every day. I hope you all have a good week! 

Love you all,

Elder Gurksnis

October 23, 2016 - From Mom

Rise and shout! The cougars are out!  (ahhh. good times.  don't you miss me waking you up like that???)

Good morning Elder G!  How is my wonderful son today?  How was your week?  Before I forget, I want you to send me pics of the area you are living in and your "apartment."  So this week, it was the birthday of one of the elders serving in our ward.  A lot of the elders in the US live with member families now to help save on some of the expenses.  So Sister Steed and i went over to the house they live in to bring him cupcakes and balloons.  I am so grateful that someone treated you so kindly on your birthday so I wanted to do the same.  So we get to the house and the family invites us in but the missionaries aren't there.  The "mom" asked us why we were bringing something over?  And we told her it was Elder Belnap's bday and she didn't even know.  Then we looked around and the house was so cluttered and tons (i mean TONS) of animals all around (dogs, cats, lizards, birds).  It was so noisy. The elders bedroom was right off the main family room. The tv was on so loud and I was thinking I bet they have to just stay inside that bedroom and even that is not very private or peaceful.  It was just another reminder to me that missionary service is so tough... on so many levels.  I told Michele as we were walking out that i bet that Sam would rather live in the places he lives over living in that home with all the noise.  There was no peaceful feeling being there.  They are such great missionaries and have never complained, but I guarantee it is a very hard thing to live there.  I came home and told dad that after Abby goes to college, we are going to have to house missionaries for a little bit.  At least they can have a peaceful place to rest at the end of a long hard day.  BUT, the good news is that we celebrated Elder Belnaps bday and he was so happy about it.  

I have been thinking a lot this week about you trying to decide if you should stay for the additional 5 months or not.  I really don't think you have to make that decision yet.  However, I want to give you some things to consider as you think about it... and you must pray about it!  It is a big decision for you.  

First of all, I want the Lord's will for you.  I trust Him and know he has a plan for you.  So if you pray about it and feel an answer, then I'm all in on that answer and will support you.  But as you are thing about what to do, will you think about these things?

First of all, I want you to remember that your mission will be remembered by the kind of service you gave, not the amount of time you served.  When Heber C Kimball opened up Great Britain and hundreds of people joined the church, he served 8 months.  As far as the histories of missions go, some missions were longer and some were shorter than 2 years.  That is just our current time period assigned to missionaries.  So don't get too mixed up about the number.  Remember that if you come home in August next year, it will have been 3 years since you began your mission.  The kind of missionary your are, how hard you work and your obedience and the people you reach, is more important than the number of months.  In addition, the fact that you went back in confirmation of how much you love the Lord and put His will before your own.

Secondly, your mission is just a starting point for a life full of service and sacrifice for the Lord.  I'm hoping this time when you come home, you will be the same person you were on your mission.  I hope you will continue to study, pray, obey, sacrifice and stay loyal to Him.  I love the words in Mosiah 5:15:

15 Therefore, I would that ye should be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works, that Christ, the Lord God Omnipotent, may seal you his, that you may be brought to heaven, that ye may have everlasting salvation and eternal life, through the wisdom, and power, and justice, and mercy of him who created all things, in heaven and in earth, who is God above all. Amen.

I heard someone say once that their mission was like the MTC for their life.  You missionary service is a unique time in your life... a treasured time in your life.  But you don't have to separate it so much from the rest of your life.  Let it continue to work in you when you come home.  Continue to love and serve and pray and grow.  I pray for that so much for you.  I want you to come home changed and continue growing in that direction.  That has nothing to do with the months you serve, but the kind of service you give.

A couple of logistic concerns.  You already deferred for your missionary service at BYU the first time you left.  You can only defer once so when you went' back on your mission, we had to do a leave of absence which can only go for 1 year.  So I'm not sure how that will go if you stay and miss more schooling.  We will have to figure that out.  Can you at least be home in December if you decide to stay so that you can start in January and not miss a complete year?  Coming home in mid december would be 4 1/2 more months out of the 5.  

You are a loyal servant of our Heavenly Father.  You are such an example to so many people around you in Guatemala and here at home.  Take dignity in your service and be proud of your mission.  The Lord will accept what you give him and He loves you so much for your willingness to return.  That is special in itself.  You have a lot to do when you get home.  You have lots of schooling, you will find a wonderful woman to marry and start a family.  This is a continuation of a faithful life... not just a faithful mission.  Try to see your mission on a larger scale as part of a full life more than just the 2 years you serve.  

I'm so incredibly proud of you.  You know that I am overwhelmed by the kind of character you have shown.  If you get called to any leadership position in the mission it will be because you are a great, loving, obedient missionary and you have such leadership to provide.  It won't have anything to do with the months you spent.  It will have more to do with your willingness to return and give everything you have to the Lord for that period of time.  

With all this being said, when you receive your answer, I'm all in.  I will support whatever you decide. You know I love you more that you could ever know.  I know that the Lord  and our Heavenly Father love you even more than that.  It's hard to imagine. 

Have a wonderful week my boy.  Let me know your thoughts on all of this.  All my love infinity + infinity.

mom